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Dear Uncle Ralph,
I heard on the radio that some trailer trash
chick had a couple of mice in her trailer so she shot herself. True?
Just a Wonderin....
Paul
Dear Paul,
Well, yeah. It's kinda true.
She didn't shoot herself because she hated mice.
She shot her self because she was an idiot.
Here's the story, embellished for content:
A Potter Valley CA woman, we'll call her "Woman", saw a
mouse running across her trailer living room floor. So she decides
she's gonna get the little sucka, pulls a .44 magnum (you know, the Dirty Harry
guy) from the belt of her sundress, raises it up with two hands, steadily
so as not to drop the inch long ash of the cigarette hanging from her lips, with
one eye squinted closed and the other taking aim over the sights of the gun,
squeezed off three shots.
The first shot missed by 8 inches but close enough to send the
little critter scurrying across the floor for cover. The hole
in the floor went nice and clean all the way through to the ground below.
The second shot, taken while the mouse was running, missed by
even a better margin, left a hole through the thread worn sofa, through the
floor leaving a fairly large hole.
The third shot hit a leg of a coffee table, through the floor,
hit a water pipe causing water to gush through the hole, hit one of the
supporting cinder blocks holding the trailer up resulting in the trailer
suddenly dropping toward that corner.
The sudden tilt of the trailer caused Woman to drop the heavy
gun so she could catch herself. When the gun hit the floor it went off a
fourth time. But this time the bullet went through her kneecap, hit the
keychain hanging from Woman's boyfriend's (we'll call him "Dude" belt
loop, grazed a part of Dude that should never be grazed by a bullet and then
exited his change pocket. The bullet then continued on to put a hole
in a brand new pony keg of PBR.
Neighbors heard the gun shots and four of them rushed over
with their own guns to join the party.
When the cops finally arrived, all six individuals were taking
turns trying to guzzle the gush of PBR from the keg so "It wouldn't be wasted".
You can read the Fox News version of the event by
clicking here.
Reports suggest the mouse lived to drink his share of the
spilt PBR.
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