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Uncle Ralph: The "Dear Abby" for white trash, trailer trash, redneck. free business cards, free beer

 

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Trailer Park Rules


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Trailer Park Rules

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 1

No cars up on blocks for longer than three years.

 

 
2

No draining your oil onto the street.

 

 
3

No loud and wild parties without inviting the manager.

 

 
4

You may have no more than 3 beer can wind chimes each only having no more than 6 cans each.

 

 
5

Drunkenness will not be tolerated in the streets prior to 10 am.

 

 
6

While outside of your trailer you must be at least partially clothed.*

 

 
7

If you prefer to clean your trailer in the nude, please close the curtains. *

 

 
8

When bringing in the Jerry Springer or COPS film crews, please provide the management prior written notice so that certain residents may be forewarned.

 

 
9

Empty beer bottles should not be discarded on the front lawn.  However, they may remain there until you are sober enough to collect them with the understanding you will collect them within 7 days whether sober or not.

 

 
10

When bringing dates home to your trailer, please be advised that in the event the sidewalks need to be repaired or replaced due to the weight of your date, you will be responsible for all cost incurred.

 

 
Note*

(Exemptions  to rules 6 & 7 may be provided to women between the ages of 18 and 35.  Please submit a photograph to the manager for approval.)

   

 

Following these simple rules should make your stay in our trailer park more enjoyable for everyone.

 

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