Uncle Ralph On Facebook and Twitter, The Ladder of Success, Gay Redneck Outer Wear

Uncle Ralph On Facebook and Twitter

Dear Reader,

Now, as of today, you can be my friend on Facebook and follow me on Twitter. Several people have suggested, including my niece, that I set up a Facebook account so people can comment on stuff. Now you can be my friend! (ok, I've got lots of friends, most of them passes out somewhere in the trailer park) but you can be my friend too! Just do a search for "Uncle-Ralph" and request it.

I've also set up a twitter account. You can see that here: www.twitter.com/askuncleralph I'll be posting the "Redneck Word of the Day" there and other fun stuff so be sure and sign up!

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A Becky quote:

"On the 'Ladder of Success,' don't stop on the 4th rung to gloat over your achievements on steps 1, 2 & 3. You don't get very high that way... keep going. Only when you reach the TOP should you reflect on the steps it took to get where you wanted to be, and then you teach it to others. After that, you get a case of Buckhorn beer and revel in your glory with your friends."

Ah, yes. The old ladder of success. I skipped steps 1, 2 & 3 and went straight for the Buckhorn. I've been teaching others how to do that ever since. How cool am I!!!!

I started Gay Redneck Outer Wear in the hopes of reaching all our alternative lifestyle trailer park brethren out there, but have seen little results as of yet, could you please impart to me the best way to market these products?

BubbaWayne

You think I know about what Gay Rednecks should wear?!!! Just why do you think I would know that? As far as I know, you may be the first Gay Redneck that's ever written me. As a matter of fact you may be the only Gay Redneck in the world! No wonder you ain't getting any results. But if you're really looking for people that know about Gays, Bi-Sexual and Transgenders, visit this website - these people suckup (pardon the bad pun) to them incessantly.

This Weeks Joke

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More Appropriate Office Language

It has been brought to our attention that some individuals throughout the organization have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their co-workers. Due to complaints received from some employees and clients who may be easily offended, this type of language will be no longer be tolerated. We do however, realize the critical importance of being able to accurately express yourself when communicating with co-workers.

Therefore, a list of "TRY SAYING" phrases has been provided so that proper exchange of ideas, information and concenrns can continue in an effective manner.

1) TRY SAYING:
         "I think you could use more training."
    INSTEAD OF:
          "You don't know what the f___ you're doing. "

2) TRY SAYING:
         "She's an aggressive go-getter. "
    INSTEAD OF:
          "She's a ball-busting b__ch. "

3) TRY SAYING:
         "Perhaps I can work late. "
     INSTEAD OF:
         "And when the f___ do you expect me to do this? "

4) TRY SAYING:
          "I'm certain that isn't feasible. "
     INSTEAD OF:
          "No f______ way. "

5) TRY SAYING:
         "Really? "
     INSTEAD OF:
           "You've got to be sh__ing me! "

6) TRY SAYING:
        "Perhaps you should check with... "
     INSTEAD OF:
          "Tell someone who gives a sh__. "

7) TRY SAYING:
         "I wasn't involved in the project. "
     INSTEAD OF:
          "It's not my f______ problem. "

8) TRY SAYING:
          "That's interesting. "
     INSTEAD OF:
           "What the f___? "

9) TRY SAYING:
         "I'm not sure this can be implemented. "
     INSTEAD OF:
           "This sh__ won't work. "

10) TRY SAYING:
          "I'll try to schedule that. "
       INSTEAD OF:
             "Why the hell didn't you tell me sooner? "

11) TRY SAYING:
            "He's not familiar with the issues. "
       INSTEAD OF:
             "He's got his head up his a__. "

12) TRY SAYING:
            "Excuse me, sir? "
       INSTEAD OF:
             "Eat sh__ and die. "

13) TRY SAYING:
            "So you weren't happy with it? "
       INSTEAD OF:
             "Kiss my a__. "

14) TRY SAYING:
            "I'm a bit overloaded at the moment. "
       INSTEAD OF:
            "F___ it, I'm on salary. "

15) TRY SAYING:
            "I don't think you understand. "
       INSTEAD OF:
             "Shove it up your a__. "

16) TRY SAYING:
          "I love a challenge. "
       INSTEAD OF:
             "This job sucks. "

17) TRY SAYING:
            "You want me to take care of that? "
       INSTEAD OF:
             "Who the hell died and made you boss? "

18 ) TRY SAYING:
            "He's somewhat insensitive. "
INSTEAD OF:
            "He's a prick. "

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