For Men: How to Turn Down A Date

Last Update March-17-07

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Ok Guys.   When you need to turn down a date with a woman sometimes it can be hard to come up with just the right words.   Here are some of my suggestions.

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1.   “Cool!   Lets get naked.”  Not a really good turndown.  The woman with either just run away or you’ll get lucky.

2.   “I’m sorry.  I just put new springs on my Mustang and can’t afford to break them again.”  Not as direct as “Your just too fat” but it gets the message across.

3.   “No thank you.  I just got two cases of Buckhorn and I drink alone.”   Works for both sexes.  Any trailer trash woman would understand it.

4.   “I’d love to, but the judge says I can’t be seen around women.”   Then walk away slowly, head hung low shaking it side to side.   This is one of those “HUH?!!” answers that leaves everyone wondering.

5.   “Only if you bring your sister with you.”   Again, not a direct turndown but if it works you may REALLY get lucky.

6.   “I can’t.   My sister gets too jealous.”  Start to walk away but stop suddenly and turn around and follow up with “Hey, have you ever done a threesome?”   Again, if you ain’t turned down, you get REALLY REALLY lucky.

Here are Suggestions Sent In By Readers

7.    Sorry.  My grandma had a miss-carriage and it was going to be my first child.  I'm just not ready to start seeing other people outside my family. - Anonymous

8.    Sorry, but I cant date someone who weighs more than my truck. - Charl-bob  [ Uncle Ralph Comments:  This has an advantage of letting them know you drive a truck.   Worse case scenario is if you ending up getting drunk and you suddenly find her beautiful, you got a way to haul her around. ]
 

9.    "What do you mean you won't do that for me?  Your sister did and it was great."
This is one of those sexual innuendo types of break ups but has multiple meanings. - Boseefus

10.   "I'm a happily married man." - Anonymous  [ Uncle Ralph Comments:  Nah.  That doesn't really work although it does imply at least your not gay.]

11.    "Sure.  But first go get me a box of rubbers and a fifth of Jimmy." -  Billy Bob    [ Uncle Ralph Comments:  Oooo - Not a bad plan!  Weed out the non-productive dates upfront.]

12. Give me another case of beer and an hour or two.  You'er still not pretty enough for me, yet. Oh, and make sure to turn the light off when you come back in the trailer. - Boseefus

13. If I wanted a hoe I would've went to Home Depot... - Deliverance

14. I'm sorry.  I'm afraid of teeth. - Anonymous

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