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10. Life is
sexually transmitted.
9. Good health is merely
the slowest rate at which one can die.
8. Men have two emotions: hungry
and horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
7. Give a person a fish and you
feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the internet and they won't bother
you for weeks.
6. Some people are like a
slinky... not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when
you shove them down the stairs.
5. Health nuts are going to feel
stupid someday, lying in the hospital dying of nothing.
4. All of us could take a lesson
from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
3. Why does a slight tax
increase cost you two hundred dollars, and a substantial tax cut saves you
thirty cents???
2. In the 60's, people took LSD
to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make
it normal.
AND THE NUMBER ONE THOUGHT TO PONDER
We know exactly where one cow with mad-cow-disease is located among the millions
and millions of cows in America, but we haven't a clue as to where thousands of
illegal immigrants and terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the
Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration.
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