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A guy buys a brand new Jeep Grand Cherokee for $30,000+, and
has a little over $400 in monthly payments. He's pretty proud of this rig and
gets a hold of his friend to do some male bonding with the new ride.
They go duck hunting and of course all the lakes are frozen. These two bright
boys go to the lake with their guns, the dog, beer and, of course, the new Jeep.
They drive out on to the ice. They want to create a natural landing area to
attract ducks - something the decoys will float on. Remember it's all ice and in
order to make a hole large enough to interest a flock of ducks and a hole big
enough to entice ducks to land, they needed to use a little more than an ice
hole drill...
Sooo, out of the back of the brand-new Jeep Grand Cherokee comes a stick of
dynamite with a short 40-second fuse. Now, to their credit, these two rocket
scientists DID take into consideration that if they placed the stick of dynamite
on the ice at a location far from where they (and the new Grand Cherokee) would
be waiting and ran back quickly, they would risk slipping on the ice as they ran
from the imminent explosion and could possibly go up in smoke with the resulting
blast. After a little deliberation, they come up with something less than a
great idea of THROWING the dynamite, which is what they end up doing.
Remember a couple of paragraphs back when I mentioned the beer, the guns, AND
THE DOG????? Yes, the dog. The driver's black Labrador Retriever (used for
retrieving - especially things thrown by the owner). You guessed it - the dog
takes off at a high rate of doggy speed on the ice, reaching the stick of
dynamite with the burning 40-second fuse about the time it hits the ice - all to
the woe of the two idiots who are now yelling, stomping, waving arms and
wondering what the heck to do now...
The dog is happy and now heads back towards the "hunters" with the stick of
dynamite. I think we all can picture the ever-increasing concern on the part of
the brain trust as the loyal Lab approaches. Finally, one of the guys decides to
think - something that neither had done before this moment. He grabs a shotgun
and shoots the dog. This sounds better than it really is because the shotgun was
loaded with #8 duckshot and hardly effective enough to stop a Lab. The dog DID
stop for a moment, slightly confused, but then continued on. Another shot and
this time the dog - still standing - became REALLY confused and of course
scared.
The pooch takes off to find cover with a now extremely short fuse still burning
on the stick of dynamite. The cover the dog finds? Underneath the brand new
Grand Cherokee worth 30-some thousand dollars, the $400.00+ monthly payment
vehicle that is sitting nearby on the lake ice. BOOM!
Dog dies, vehicle sinks to bottom of lake, and these two "Co-Leaders of the
Universe" are left standing there with the well known "Uh-oh" look on their
faces.
When the owner of the vehicle called his insurance company he was informed that
sinking a vehicle in a lake by illegal use of explosives is NOT covered on his
policy. The best part is that he had yet to make his first car payment.
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